There is absolutely nothing wrong with what we are. It just
means we're human and we don't leave our humanity at home when we work. But
problems arise when we apply our preconceptions or values to situations at work
without understanding what we're doing — when we tilt one way or the other, not
based on what's best in the circumstances, but on what we tend to prefer. What
we prefer is sometimes the right choice, but often it's not.
When someone once said about a client, "You don't build
bridges". The client recognized the
truth of those words — but was unable (or unable) to change. What he needed to
do was against the grain of the fabric that was ’him’. It would have required a
change in how he saw himself and the value he felt he added.
Who Are You?
The first step to successfully changing ourselves is to
understand who we are. Unless we understand our preconceived preferences — our
"default settings" — we will be at their mercy. They will drive the
choices we make every day, and we won't even understand what's happening. But
if we know ourselves, we give ourselves the chance to stop and think: "I
want to do such-and-such, but is that really the best choice here? It will make
me feel comfortable, but is that the real test of what's best?" If we can
ask those questions, we give ourselves a better chance of making the right
call.
All this is important for becoming an effective boss because
managing and leading others, are built on a foundation of paradoxes. A paradox
is a statement that's true even though it contains contradictory elements. For
example, "Effective bosses are proactive and patient" or "To
manage people, you must exercise close control and give people wide
latitude."
“The essence of management is about knowing when one side of
the paradox is more appropriate — when to take action and when to wait,
for example, or when to manage closely and when to give someone a long
rein.”
Questions
So what are your preferences? See below. There are no right or wrong
answers. Effective managers will sometimes need to choose one way, and
sometimes the other. The question is what would you prefer to do if you just
followed your ‘gut’ all the time?
1- Do you prefer to include others in choices you make — by
asking for their ideas and opinions or even giving them freedom to decide — or
do you tend to direct others on what to do?
2- Do you prefer to focus on the work people do or on the
people doing the work? In your relationship with direct reports, do you tend to
deal primarily with the work, or do you prefer to interact with them as close
colleagues and unique individuals?
3- Do you prefer to develop people through constructive
criticism of what they need to improve on, or by praising them for what they do
well? Do you let them figure out for themselves how to improve, or work with
them using close contact and instruction?
4- Do you prefer to deal with your direct reports one-on-one or
as a team? When there's a problem in your group, do you tend to call everyone
together and deal with it as a team, or do you prefer to go around person to
person and work on it?
5- Do you prefer to focus on today's challenges or do you
prefer to think about tomorrow and what's coming in the future?
6- Do you prefer execution, getting work done day after day, or
innovation, creating new products or services or new ways of working?
7- Do you tend to work mostly with direct reports, your own
group, or do you prefer to work with others throughout your organization?
8- When you have to make a tough choice, do you tend to focus
on the harm that might befall someone or some group? Or do you prefer to focus
on the greater good even if a choice may cause harm to some?
Conclusion
Include others vs. direct others, work vs. people, critique
vs. praise, one-on-one vs. team, today vs. tomorrow, execute vs. innovate,
direct reports vs. rest of organization, harm vs. greater good. These are some
of the most fundamental choices we must make every day as bosses. If we don't
know our preferences when we encounter them, we're far less likely to make the
best choices. Going with your ‘gut’ isn't always the best way to be a boss.
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